


DON'T TELL ROGER

by InLoveWithRogersCar



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-11 14:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17448569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLoveWithRogersCar/pseuds/InLoveWithRogersCar
Summary: It's 1975 and Roger has a huge crush on Brian. After a drunken talk with Freddie, Rog comes up with a plan to get a romantic response out of Brian





	1. Lock the Door

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Hello guys, so this is the first fic I've ever written and I wanted to share it with you :) I must say english isn't my first language, so I apologise for any mistakes I could've made! I hope you like it

The guys are all at a rehearsal, Roger is playing the drums in the back, with Freddie, John, and Brian in the front of the room... Roger is playing as good as he can, considering he's getting somewhat distracted by staring at Bri's broad sexy back, eventually he forgets about what he’s doing, too focused on his friend's body, and stops playing for a second, this causes his friends to look over their shoulders and give him a confused look.  
“Oh fuck! I’m sorry, I… I mean I got distracted hehe I’m sorry” he snaps back into reality as his cheeks turn red from embarrassment. Since it’s been a bit of a stressful day he expects some eye rolling from his friends but instead they just scoff softly and smile.  
“Its okay darling, we'll just take a break, if everyone agrees, I’m guessing we're all a bit tired” Freddie says, he’s clearly exhausted from singing all day and his throat must be sore.  
Brian goes to put his red special on it’s case aa John approaches Rog “You okay mate? You seem off” John asked softly and in a very low voice, so Roger can feel free to discuss whatever it is that's wrong. “Oh no I’m fine, just tired that’s all, I’m sorry for messing up” Rog replies with a soft smile, trying to get the attention away from his behavior and on his little mistake, he hasn’t told anyone about his newly aknowldeged crush on Brian; he’s usually not one to get all shy and hide his true emotions about anything, and it’s been clear by the way he ocationally throws some massive tantrums, going as far as trashing his drum set on more than one ocation... but this is different, they’re all best friends and he doesn’t know how John or Fred would react if he told them about him fancying Bri, it would just be weird, or so he thinks. He knows they wouldn’t mind about him being gay ("gay? Maybe bi, I mean I still find girls quite attractive" he thinks to himself) since they’re all very supportive of Freddie and had never judged him or acted any different around him. But God, this is Brian we're talking about, if it was any other guy he’d probably just tell them (but honestly if this was any other guy Roger wouldn’t even like him, he’s never really been attracted to any other men)  
This is weird for Roger in more than one way, since he’s usually the one being chased after, people get hopeless crushes on him, and it’s not very often that Roger finds himself nervous around someone, changing his clothes entirely a couple times before leaving the house, and fixing his outfit each time he sees a mirror, fixing his eyebrows with his finger and biting his lips nervously, so much they turn red, before meeting the person he likes. For him it’s usually more simple than that, he finds someone he likes and after some talking and flirting the other person is all heads over heels for him.  
He’s always been a confident guy and he’s well aware of what he looks like, and on top of that he knows exactly how to seduce someone; but when he’s around Brian he... He just gets a little nervous.  
“Hey dearies, how would you like some beer? I think we could all use a fun night out after all this work” Freddie says overly excited, the rest of the guys know when Freddie’s feeling like partying, there’s no point in arguing against joining him, Fred will always convince them all (and to be perfectly honest, they all end up having a great time)  
Roger and John are up for it as soon as Fred suggests it but Brian is a bit reluctant  
“I don’t know, I’m really tired, we’ve been practicing for hours Fred, it baffles me how you all are not as exhausted as I am”  
“Oh come on love, I’ll pay for the first round” Freddie says winking  
“Let's go, we'll have fun, come on" John added, clearly excited to go out with his best friends.  
“Come on Bri, let’s go!” Roger insisted giving Brian the sweetest smile he could manage to put on  
“Oh okay okay, since you’re all insisting, how can I refuse?” Brian finally agreed with a charming smile to join his friends; but to be absolutely honest, what he actually means is he can’t say no to Roger’s big blue eyes and innocent smile, how could he? Rog is just too cute.  
~~~~  
They get to their favorite pub, they haven’t been there in a couple months, but they sure had missed it, it’s a nice place, reasonable prices and cute girls (and boys) and it’s big enough to have some privacy when they’re talking about their affairs as well, the beer there is always cold and the food is always good.  
It’s quite big for a pub, but it’s really nice, it used to be a house, the walls are tall and covered on a layer of nicely arranged bricks for decoration, it also has many plants attached to the walls, and it has a very appropriate warm orangey lighting, in some areas of the first floor there’s no roof, it was probably some sort of patio back when it was a house. The boys get to their usual table and sit in those comfortable padded chairs. Roger and Freddie light up a cigarette as soon as they sit down. “Oh hello dear” Fred says to their cute waitress, she’s usually the one who serves them and there’s some sense of closeness with her but they aren’t really friends yet, she’s a bit shy and the boys are usually too hyped to have a decent conversation with her “may I ask you for four big, cold, delicious beers and some chips please?”  
“Sure thing! Be right back with your order” she replied while winking at Roger, she’s always been flirty with the four of them but haven’t really approached them in a way other that their cheerful, nice waitress.  
“Someone seems to fancy you!” John teases Roger while lighting his own cigarette  
“Oh hahaha yeah, maybe I wouldn’t know for sure” Roger mumbles absent mindedly while fixing his hair and holding his cigarette between his lips  
“What’s wrong?” Brian asked genuinely concerned, since this isn’t a usual response for Roger, Brian knows his friend and knows Rog would usually say something cheeky or playfully cocky and then just let it slide  
“Hu?, What do you mean Bri?”  
“Well you seem somewhat distracted mate”  
“No no I’m fine just a bit uhm…”  
“Your beer, boys! Enjoy!” the waitress inadvertently interrupted  
“Thank you Rose” John answered  
Freddie was the first to grab his drink “Cheers! To you my darlings! And to a lovely evening of getting terribly shitfaced!”  
“Cheers!” the boys replied giggling  
~~~~  
Four rounds later, Roger is drunk, John is missing, Freddie is still standing and Bri is almost too sober for his friends dumb behaviour.  
“Drink up my darling, maybe you’ll find some cute girl who will take you home tonight” Freddie said as he forced Brian’s glass against his lips.  
“Ye know, I haven’t had a girl over in months” Roger said, he gets a bit impertinent when he’s drunk “I’d like someone to bring me home tonight too” he stood up stumbling a little bit “I’mma go to the… the.. I’mma go take a leak” he said giggling and left  
“I’m sorry but did Roger just say he has not shagged in months?” Freddie whispered to Brian  
“I have some difficulty believing that as well, Fred” Brian laughed and chugged down his beer  
~~~~  
“Where the fuck are Deaky and Roger?” Freddie asked Brian, they’re both drunk by now  
“Oh right! Where are those two? Should we look for them?”  
“Uhm… maybe they left dear, I don’t know, Roger said he was going to the bathroom 45 minutes ago”  
“Yeah, but I don't know, I’ll go look for them in the bathroom just in case” Brian said giggling, he gets all relaxed and giggly when he’s drunk, but he still worries for his two younger friends, specially for Roger, he gets way to irresponsible when he drinks and has the dumbest unsafest ideas, he'd endanger his own life for the sake of fun, John on the other hand seems to be able to take care of himself, but Brian still prefers to look after him too.  
Brian got to the bathroom on the second floor and knocked, there was no response and it was unlocked so he just opened the door in case one of his drunk friends was inside  
“Hello? Is someone in there?” There was no response but he heard some noises “okay I’m coming in, is that good?” he continued hesitantly, even if it's not Roger or Deaky, maybe theres someone in there that could use some help  
“Oh fuck! Roger lock the door for the love of God!” he laughed and closed the wooden door after getting a glimpse of Roger getting a blow job from a brunette.  
“Oh no no no no no fucking hell no” Roger said and buckled his pants, he figured the best way to get your crush to like you is not by letting them see such a thing “hey I’m so sorry I have to go! Nice meeting you!” he said to the girl as he rushed out of the bathroom and down the stairs where he found Brian “hey Bri hey hey wait Bri” Brian turned around “what? So quickly?” Brian responded with a cheeky smile “hu? Oh! No no I mean I’m sorry I don’t mean for you or anyone to see that I mean it’s meaningless and” Roger mumbled as fast as he could “oh Rog don’t worry, I’ve seen you do way worse” And by these words Roger remembered that Brian and him are not dating and that they’re in fact best friends, best straight friends. Best friends who have girls over from time to time and that’s fine. “I’m just a bit jealous” Brian continued  
“Jealous” Roger blushed and tried to make sense out of that, is Brian jealous? Of the girl? Or? What?? Brian likes him?  
“Of course! I’d like to get lucky too!” Brian replied while placing his arm around Roger’s neck to go downstairs together.  
Brian hated to admit it to himself but, what he saw a few minutes ago was actually a delightful sight, he tried to shake the thought out of his head... But Roger’s lips parted while he moaned softly with that delicious voice of his, his head resting back on the wall and his eyebrows slightly furrowed in pleasure was all to hot to ignore, but those thoughts have absolutely no reason to be in his mind, he's his friend and Brian is only thinking those things because he’s drunk, right?... Wrong, Brian tried to convince himself of that but truth is he really likes Roger, he likes likes Roger, at first he just thought he was just feeling a lot of affection for his best friend but he couldn’t help but stare at Roger all the time, his enormous eyes, his arms getting stronger and stronger from playing the drums, his skinny and hot abdomen showing from those tiny shirts, his long bleached hair, his collarbone and how much he would like to softly bite on it. Yes, Roger turned him on, but he also cared for him in a very special way, it wasn’t just arousal he felt but maybe… something else. And yes, he was somewhat jealous when he saw Roger with that girl but he was in no position to say anything about it, and in any case, the image was quite nice anyways.  
They went downstairs and there was Deaky, Sitting at the table with Freddie, both still drunk  
“Ah! Here you are! Did you get lost on your way to the bathroom? Or was something more exciting going on?” Freddie said cheerfully, he knows Roger very well and he has himself got those glimpses of Roger in the bathroom with some girl before.  
“Im a gentleman Fred, I don’t kiss and tell!” Roger accepted something else was going on “but if you must know, the strake remains the same, months”  
“Oh really? Then what was that I saw? Was she looking for something lost in your penis? Brian joked  
“Oh you know what I mean! If it’s not actual sex it doesn’t count!” Roger hissed “you just tease me cause, as you admitted, you’re jealous!” he smirked.  
“Oh Brian, I know you’d love to blow Rog but that’s no reason to interrupt him when he’s getting lucky” Freddie teased  
John choked on his beer and looked at Brian with wide eyes, too shocked by this comment to remind himself it's just a joke.  
“Uhm” Brian replied as his cheeks turned crimson red “thats… that’s not what I meant Fred”  
“Oh I know love I’m just messing with you”  
Roger sat there in silence, blushing significantly, if it wasn’t for his massive crush he’d just laugh and blow kisses at Brian but in this particular situation, he felt a bit embarrassed.  
~~~~  
The night went by and the boys had a lot of fun, they drank and ate, laughed all night till their tummies hurt, but it was time to go home, and Roger offered Freddie a ride.  
Rog had tried to sober down because he doesn’t want to drive while he’s drunk and scratch his car or something, but more importantly because he wanted to talk to Freddie.  
“Get in the car Fred! Come on at least try…” Roger said as he tried to help his intoxicated friend get on the passenger seat  
“Sorry darling! Almost there!”  
They both got in the car, finally, and Roger's started driving.  
“hey Freddie, there’s something I want to ask you…” Roger was interrupted by Freddie blasting the radio and singing very loudly  
“Hey I really want to ask you about…” Roger continued, screaming this time, but was once again interrupted by Freddie’s singing  
“Fred!” he tried once more but Freddie was just ignoring him  
“Oh come on… I’m trying to talk to you goddammit!” Roger really wanted to have this conversation “Freddie! Oh fuck this…!” he hissed in annoyance as he turned off the radio  
“Hey! I was singing!” Freddie hissed back “Yeah no shit, I’m trying to talk to you” Roger wasn't gonna let Freddie get out of this one that easily “What is it?” Freddie finally replied  
“Well… a while ago when we were at the…”  
“Hey stop here at the store! I want to buy some cookies” Freddie interrupted him once more. To be fair this was unusual, when he’s sober Freddie would never even think of ignoring a friend’s question, he would always listen carefully to what his friends had to say but right now he was shitfaced  
“Fred… it’s 3:30 in the morning… the bloody store is fucking closed”  
“Oh that’s not fair” Freddie said and closed his eyes  
~~~~  
“Freddie, were here” Roger poked Freddie’s cheek “Fred wake up, come on buddy, you’re home”  
“What? Oh!... Wonderful love”  
Roger helped Freddie get to his flat and then to his bed  
“Hey Freddie, wake up for the love of God I need to ask you something”  
“Ask away dear!” Freddie shouted  
“Shhh!... Okay, uhm, I... I mean maybe it was nothing, right? But uhm... It’s not a big deal, really, just… What did you mean before when you said Brian was jealous about you know uhm, you know”  
“About Brian wanting to blow ya'?” Freddie interrupted, thank God, Roger didn't want to say it out loud himself  
“Yes” Roger blushed “that”  
“Nothing new darling” Freddie said as he dozed off again  
“Fred! Fucking wake up!"  
Freddie opened his big brown eyes trying to focus on Rog  
“What do you mean nothing new?” Roger insisted  
“Well you know, Brian thinks Roger is pretty and hot and funny, he told me, but don’t tell Roger okay? Brian will certainly kill me”  
“Hu? Freddie? Elaborate” Roger insisted, was Freddie really drunk enough to not recognize who he's talking to?  
“Don’t tell Roger dear, shhhh!” Freddie said placing his finger on Roger’s lips “promise?”  
“Sure, I wont, goodnight Freddie”


	2. Does he Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rog is totally drunk, so he comes up with a terrible plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! it took me forever, but here is chapter 2! Thanks for reading :D

“Children will you shut up? My head is killing me” Freddie said while rubbing his forehead

“Yeah, I wonder why that is” Brian joked

“I’m sorry I’m late!” John shouted as he ran through the door

“Shhh!” Freddie was in a terrible mood, he left the room and went to get some painkillers

“What the hell is his problem?” John asked, weirded out

“Hungover” Brian said in a monotone voice

“Oh right, yeah I feel shitty too but I’m not acting like a little a prick” John replied rolling his eyes “Rog are you alright? Hungover too?”

“Hu? Oh no… I’m fine” Roger had been staring at the floor for some while now thinking about what Freddie said last night, he was probably taking Brian’s words out of context or something… But what if he wasn’t, did Brian like him back?

“Hey Rog, you’ve been acting really weird lately, are you sure you’re okay? John asked softly as he got closer to Roger

“Oh I’m okay Deaky, really, I just have a lot on my mind but it’s fine”

“Wanna talk about it?” John insisted, he’s a really good friend and is just trying to be there for his buddy

“Oh it’s not important, but I’m okay! I promise” It _is_ actually quite important, but Roger would never even consider going anywhere near this topic.

“Okay boys let’s get started…” Freddie walked back into the room, making an effort to leave his hungover behind

~~~~~

The next week Queen was having a concert in Liverpool, Roger was acting like himself again, not letting his crush get in the way of the rehearsals, nor of his usual interaction with his friends.

The boys got to their hotel the day before the show, they were given a big sort of suite, that looked more like a flat with four separate bedrooms, each room has a bathroom, so the guys’ privacy was nearly perfect, except for the fact that the walls were somewhat thin, but they could live with that.

In one side of the suite was Brian’s room next to Roger’s room, in the middle there was a very nice living room with a TV and in the other side there was Freddie’s room and John’s room, John had insisted on getting the room next to Brian’s because he’s not as noisy as Roger and Freddie, but Freddie didnt want to give up the view and Roger didn’t want to switch rooms with John for reasons he did not disclose, and ended up saying he wanted the view too. John was slightly upset and didn’t understand why Roger couldn’t just take him room as he had done many times before, but he just accepted that he had to bear with Freddie’s loudness for three nights, it wasn’t much, he would manage.

~~~~

After the show the boys were going for a night out, but first they needed a moment to freshen up and change their sweaty clothes.

“Hey dear, how are you doing?” Freddie said as he slowly entered John’s room

“Good, just getting ready" John replied cheerfully

“Yeah I can see that! Looking good mate” Freddie smiled at John “I’ll try not to get as drunk as last time” he continued

“That’d be nice” John said with a sassy smile

“Yeah I’m guessing you aren’t looking forward to get me to bed again”

“Hu?” John gave Freddie a confused look, was he trying to make a sex joke?

“You know, when you drove me home and I was too fucked up to get to my own bed and you helped me walk there…?” Freddie continued in a sassy voice, wasn’t it obvious what he was talking about? They were both there.

“Oh you certainly were too fucked up, since you don’t remember it was actually Roger who took you home”

“Oh? I must have forgotten then!” Freddie replied, he was a bit confused, but if Deaky says it was Roger he must be right. But, wait… Didn’t he mention…

“Ready?” Brian entered John’s room followed by Roger “Sure! Let’s go!” Freddie answered

They drove to the club they choose, Roger and John got there in Roger’s car, since they wanted to get some cigarettes first. Brian and Freddie got to the club first in Brian’s car, they got drinks for themselves and ordered two for their friends.

Once they were all there they danced for hours. Freddie was serious when he said he wouldn’t get too drunk that night, he doesn’t really like to get _that_ hammered when they’re out of town for a show. Roger on the other hand couldn’t care less about where he is when he’s partying, and tonight is no exception, he gets as wild as usual. Brian and John were up for some fun but they weren’t really planning on going as crazy as Roger.

Brian was having a good time, and he was delighted seeing Roger move his body deliciously as he danced, he was certainly tuned on by this, Roger’s cheeks were red from all the dancing, his long blonde hair was messy and slightly sweaty, and the blue shade of his eyes made it obvious that his pupils were dilated… Did Roger look like this during sex? Brian wondered and felt his member press against his jeans. He shook his head, as if this movement would shake off the thought, and he took another shot of vodka.

After a while Freddie noticed he was getting a little too tipsy, but he had a solution for that, he knew cocaine had this effect, it helped everyone sober up, no matter how drunk they were, it was always a solution if they had to drive or get on stage, or something. He got a tiny bag out of his jacket, took a bit of the white dust out and placed it on the table in front of him, he shaped the line and snorted it, he poked Rog’s chest with his elbow and showed him another line he had prepared for him. Roger grinned and leaned forward to the table, he snorted the dose of cocaine and moaned a little, it felt so good.

Brian had used drugs on a few occasions, just like John, and of course he had used cocaine to sober up if it was an “emergency”, but he’s more fond of alcohol when he’s partying, but he secretly liked watching Rog get his hit, even if he wouldn’t encourage him to get high, he couldn’t help but stare as Roger’s nose wrinkled a bit, how hard he closed his eyes for a second, only to open them up again with enormous pupils, making his already big eyes look even bigger; right now he could notice Roger started breathing faster, and Bri found that quite arousing.

~~~~~

It was 2:30 am when Brian and Freddie decided to leave, they were exhausted and relatively sober. They started looking around for their friends, as usual. After ten minutes they found John dancing with a crowd of strangers. “Deaky we’re going back to hotel, wanna come with us or would you rather stay” Brian asked gently pulling John to the side. “I’ll come with you” John answered and left the crowd. “Hey Deaky, where’s Roger?” Freddie asked with a concerned look, last time he saw Roger he was drinking _more_ vodka and snorting _more_ cocaine; and considering Rog’s history of dangerous behavior, it was very worrying to have him out of sight, they looked for him all over the club and finally found him with a group of young men and women, taking shots as if it was water and dancing, his shirt was totally unbuttoned by now.

“Hey Rog! Rog!” Brian tried to be heard over the loud music “Fuck… Roger!” Freddie yelled, he finally heard them. “Oh hey! Come here! Join me!” he replied “Oh, we’re actually going back to the hotel darling, come on let’s go”

Freddie knew it wasn’t wise to give Roger the option to stay there without supervision but of course he didn’t want to leave “No! Guys go, I’ll get there in a while” he insisted “Roggie, darling, I think it’s best if you come with us” Freddie tried once more. “I’ll be good I promise, I’ll get there later”.

Roger wasn’t going anywhere and the rest of the guys knew it, but well, he’s surrounded by people, besides he’s not _that_ drunk “Fine, we’ll see you later, take care” Freddie smiled as he just gave up trying to argue with the most stubborn member of the group.

Roger kept partying, and as he was absolutely drunk he came up with a plan, he figured maybe Brian was jealous in the way Fred suggested, and if that was true maybe Roger could make him jealous once more to get Brian to maybe act on it and come forward telling Roger about his feelings.

It’s not a great plan, it’s not even a good plan, quite terrible actually, and kind of a dick move, but again, Roger is drunk, and he’s desperate for some sign that Brian likes him back. He knows it’s childish and it probably won’t work but he might as well just try.

~~~~~

3:30 am

“Okay… So John didn’t take me home that night… It was Rog” Freddie kept thinking to himself once he was in bed, he had been trying to get back his memories of that night, and he sure remembered telling John something about Brian and Roger… But it wasn’t John… “Well yes, maybe l mentioned them but that doesn’t mean I screwed up, I could’ve said just about anything” he tried to comfort himself, but he was certain he did screw up “besides Roger would’ve talked about that with me if I had revealed Brian’s secret, or at least he would’ve behaved differently right?” He couldn’t remember any sign from Roger that implied he knew. “Okay maybe I can talk to Roger, I wouldn’t ask him directly of course, but maybe just… A casual conversation about that night, just to make sure I didn’t say anything inappropriate” Freddie got out of bed and walked towards Roger’s room, he knew Rog was probably awake anyways and he just couldn’t stand this terrible doubt anymore.

He walked into the living room and he saw Brian standing there, with a sad look in his eyes, before Freddie could ask what was wrong he figured it out. He heard Roger loudly shagging someone in his room, both him and the girl were audibly moaning and the bed was making a lot of noise.

“Oh darling…” Freddie could see just how upset Brian was, his sad expression turned into frustration as he threw himself to Freddie’s arms for a hug “oh Bri, wanna sleep in my room? I can sleep in yours. You won’t hear this from there… I’ll stay with you for a while if you want” Brian nodded “Alright, let’s go” Freddie walked with Brian while still hugging him, Freddie knew he couldn’t be mad at Roger, he’s a single man, and him and Brian aren’t together… He doesn’t know this hurts Bri, how would he?

Freddie was right, Roger didn’t know, that was not what he expected. He thought maybe the loud sex world turn Brian on and make him tell Roger that he wants him, or maybe he’d just get jealous and tell Roger he has a crush on him… He didn’t really consider the possibility of this hurting Brian, he wouldn’t have done any of this if he thought it could go this way.

“Bri, I realize this is a terrible moment but… I think I have to tell you something” Freddie said, almost whispering; if his voice was any quieter he wouldn’t even hear himself.

Freddie was in his bed, lying on his back, hugging a pillow over his chest.

Brian was on the little sofa on Freddie’s room, also on his back, his arms crossed over his face.

“Is something wrong?” Brian muffled through his arms, he was slightly worried about his friend’s comment, but not enough to change his position.

“Don’t be mad… I mean yes, you will mad… You can hit me once, if that makes it better” Freddie remember that time he hit Kash while playing and offered her to hit him back if she swore to not tell on him

“Fred…” Brian was sitting by now, leaning towards Freddie’s bed, he was actually worried now

“Okay, so, remember last week, we went out, got drunk, all that” Freddie continued slowly

“Of course” Brian was getting impatient

“Well, it was Roger who brought me home and…”

“Did something happen between you two?” Brian could feel his heart beating fast and his stomach hurt

“Oh good lord, Brian no! Of course not” Freddie responded louder and faster this time, as he shook his head. “No, the thing is, I think I told him you like him Bri… I’m not sure, I could be wrong, of course…” Brian was pale, but he wasn’t freaking out, as Freddie expected, he was silent “Bri?… Brian will you say something? Please… I’m sorry… Bri? Do you want to hit me? Do something for the love of God”

Brian wasn’t angry, just embarrassed, and at the same time he was trying to make sense out of Roger’s actions “He doesn’t seem mad at me for liking him, and he hasn’t been acting any different around me, maybe tonight Rog is just trying to hint me, about him liking girls, maybe he’s to kind to say it to my face but wants to make it clear, it’s never gonna happen between us”

“Bri…” Freddie’s soft voice got Brian out of his overthinking trance “I’m really sorry, do you hate me?” Freddie’s voice almost let Brian know he was desperate for an answer

“Oh Fred of course not, how could I ever hate you?, But I do need to ask, has Roger talked to you about it?” Freddie shook his head “Alright… Well, I’ll just go on with life, I mean, if he knows and he chooses to shag some girl right in front of us all, that probably means he doesn’t like me back, and is probably trying to let me know…” As Brian said that out loud he felt his heart breaking a little, a single tear rolled down his cheek “I’ll just be my usual self around him, but I have to forget about that silly idea of Rog and I being together”

Freddie hated seeing Brian like this, if he was absolutely mad, or even crying over Roger, Freddie would know what to do, but right now he was lost for words. After a few minutes he managed to say something “Rog was drunk too, maybe he doesn’t remember” he thought this possibility could make this better but by now Brian was convinced Roger didn’t like him.

~~~~

Roger was lying in bed, he didn’t really enjoy it; sure, the girl was hot and all, but he could only think of how different would it be with Brian… Kissing him, tangling his fingers on those adorable black curls, kissing and worshiping his entire body, and finally cuddling him and falling asleep holding his hand.

He wasn’t gonna be rude to this girl, but he hoped she would leave soon, he just didn’t want to be around her, he wanted to be with Brian. “This whole thing is stupid, I should’ve just told him I like him, this is ridiculous” he kept thinking

~~~~

The next morning the boys were having breakfast on the small living room, they had some coffee and doughnuts.

Roger walked out of his bedroom, the girl had left before anyone could see her, thank God.

“Good morning darling” Freddie greeted him, he was still a little confused about the entire Roger and Brian situation, but decided to just step back

“Fun night?” John continued, smirking at Roger, who just shrugged.

“Good morning boys” Roger said in a low voice as he sat down next to Brian “Good morning Bri” Rog was being really shy and careful. Brian just gave him an awkward smile.

As Brian was overthinking last night, he thought he could fix this whole thing, he just had to convince Roger he didn’t actually like him, and that maybe, Freddie was just too drunk to make sense, and to achieve this he had to be his usual self, keep everything normal… Problem was, Brian isn’t a good actor, so he just ended up being really awkward, and that smile made it clear.

“Hello, I uhm, I gotta go” Brian said and he stormed into his room.

The rest of the day was like that, if Roger was around Brian left. If Roger wasn’t around, Brian would appear out of nowhere.

Everyone noticed, and everyone had a theory about it: John assumed they had some argument about a song or a music video or something, and they’d be back to normal soon.

Freddie thought Brian was mad at everyone and specially Roger, for having sex right there, even knowing about Brian’s feelings, although Freddie wasn’t so sure about Roger’s version, so he choose not to judge.

Roger was mortified, had he fucked things up? Had his “ridiculous” plan worked and this was Brian being jealous? What if Brian never liked him to begin with?… He hoped they could have just talked about their feelings for each other, but now he just had to deal with it, and see where this goes.

~~~~

The boys were back home and Brian was still avoiding Roger, he would barely talk to him during rehearsals, left the studio as soon as they were over, and declined every invitation to go out with them.

Rog was getting too anxious about Brian’s behaviour and he needed to know which one of the terrible scenarios he had created on his mind was correct, so he decided to ask Freddie if he knew what exactly was going on. He approached Freddie after a rehearsal, after Brian had obviously stormed out, as usual, and John too had left. Rog pretended to be doing something, awkwardly walking around the studio as he waited for the opportunity, and hoping John would leave before Freddie did. When it was finally a good time, Rog slowly walked up to Freddie.

“Hello Freddie” Rog poked his friend’s arm and tried to give him the sweetest, most innocent smile.

“Hello dear” Freddie was a little weirded out by his friend’s weird behaviour, “what does he mean hello? We’ve been together for hours now” he thought to himself

“What are you doing?” Roger continued, trying to figure out exactly what he should say

“Getting my coat?” Freddie smiled back at Roger

“Good, good”

“Okay, good-bye darling, see you tomorrow” Freddie got to the door

“No wait, uhm I want to ask you something. Uhm… Do you know what’s going on with Brian?

Freddie sighed "Oh, Rog… That’s really not something I should be talking about” He said as he slowly shook his head with a sad look.

“Freddie please”

“Darling why don’t you ask him directly?”

“No, I can’t, please just tell me”

“Rog… No, I’m sorry, I can’t”

“Freddie” Roger was practically begging by now

“I can’t, sorry love” Freddie walked towards the exit

“I… I think I love him, Fred” Roger said as soon as Freddie started walking

“What?” Freddie turned around again to face Roger

 

 

 


	3. Nevermind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is ready to come clean to Freddie, with much hesitation he finally chooses to confess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! I know its really uncool how i didnt post in a while; I struggled with some minor, but very annoying, health issues.  
> I was going to wait till I had a longer chapter to post, but since that would only take me even more time, I decided to post a slightly shorter one already! hahaha I hope you like it! And I promise to post the 4th chapter soon!

Freddie was lost for words, what the hell does Roger mean? He stood there in front of Roger, silent, as if asking would cause Roger to run home and never talk about it again. Freddie was feeling as if each word he could say meant a word less he’d hear from Roger, so he just looked at him, patiently waiting for his friend to speak again.

“… Nevermind, it’s stupid” Roger sighed as he looked down at his pair of sparkly pink converse

“Rog… It’s not” Freddie was shocked. He hoped this would happen one day, just for the sake of Brian’s heart, but he didn’t think it’d happen in the immediate future, let alone Roger already being in love.

He gently placed his hand on Roger’s shoulder, but slowly removed it, as he noticed his friend didn’t react at all “Rog talk to me”

Roger could recognise that terrible feeling on his throat, the one that meant we was about to cry. He could feel his eyes starting to get teary and tried hard to keep the tears in. “Just… I don’t know, forget I mentioned it” Poor Roger is terrified, he had never ever mentioned in out loud, because he didn’t want to admit it to anyone but himself. It’s so scary to think about everything that could be affected: his friendship with Brian, the stability of the band, his sexuality and so on

Also, Roger was sure Brian didn’t have similar feelings for him, and what he was told that night was just alcohol speaking.

He knew how sad and scared he looked, and he didn’t want Freddie to feel sorry for him because of this.

Freddie didn’t want to push him, even though he was reasonably curious, he respected Roger’s troubling feelings. “Hey blondie, wanna go for a smoke?” He smiled at his friend, Roger slowly nodded and they sat down on the sofa.

“Thanks Fred…” Roger knew he should say something other than that. He should at least give a vague explanation; he just didn’t know how to.

A few minutes went by as Roger tried to figure out what exactly should he say, he considered saying he meant it as a brotherly kind of love; but he knew for sure Freddie would never believe that was the reason for Roger tearing up a little and looking like a lost puppy.

At the same time Freddie was asking himself if he should ask Roger, remain in silence, or maybe just do as Roger asked and try to forget what he heard.

“The thing is…” Roger finally managed to speak “well, yeah, what I said, basically” he continued as he cleared his throat in an attempt to drown his own words.

“Uh hu?” Freddie carefully encouraged Roger to continue.

“Well, yeah”

There was a long pause, Roger didn’t really know how to continue.

“Okay, I’ve fancied him for quite a while now, and it’s been distracting at times, I’m nervous when I’m around him and I stare all the time… I mean, I used to, when he wasn’t making sure he was away from me all the time” Roger sighed “That night out here in town, before Liverpool I was mortified after he saw me in the bathroom with that girl, and when you joked that he was jealous I was really confused” he stopped when he realized he was about to tell Freddie about how he asked him over and over to say more, getting advantage of the huge amount of beer Freddie had been drinking, he felt a little ashamed of how he got this precious information, but he felt the need to be totally honest. “When we got to your flat, I asked you what that was about, and you said Brian liked me back, I don’t know if you remember. I was excited but figured maybe you were a little confused, and now I think that’s the case, considering how he’s been avoiding me”

“Oh love” Freddie sighed, knowing the whole story, and Brian’s side of it. But should he tell Roger? That would probably be a relief for the poor man, but he didn’t know if Brian still wanted Roger, and feared he might give him false hope.

And even if Brian did want to be with Rog, should he really hear that from Freddie?

“I’m such a fool” Roger continued “I tried to make him jealous…” He was really ashamed by his terrible idea.

“What do you mean?” Freddie asked in the sweetest voice, he made sure he didn’t sound like he judged Roger for it.

“I… I know it sounds like I’m 14… It’s so ridiculous” Roger sighed “I just, I was drunk so, there’s that… At the club remember? In Liverpool, I thought maybe if I made him jealous he’d… I don’t know, do something… It’s terrible, I know”

Freddie just have him a sympathetic smile, but he was actually baffled by this, that night in Liverpool was the night Brian stayed awake for hours thinking Roger was trying to hint him away, the night Bri spent in Freddie’s room… and the night when every few minutes he’d sigh loudly and rub his teary eyes… And meanwhile Roger was just (stupidly) trying to get Brian to “do something”? What? It’s Roger being serious?

“Freddie what do I do?” Roger asked, his voice showed how confused and ashamed he was

“Dear, talk to him, really”

“But what if he doesn’t like me back, Freddie?!” Roger snapped “What if make a complete fool of myself? Oh Lord, what if he hates me?”

“… Rog, that won’t happen, how could you ever think that? Darling it’s Brian were talking about” Freddie was careful enough to encourage Roger without being the one to tell him about Bri’s feelings, since he knows that’s a conversation for those two to have on their own.

“Really? You think I could have a chance?”

“God, dear you know I do but please just talk to him!” Freddie is getting a little impatient, he just wants this ridiculous situation to be over, he would like these two fools to just talk about it and start dating… Finally

“Alright, alright I will… I know I should”


	4. ACTUALLY...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking finally  
> Hey, would you rather have some short fluff to wrap it up or 2 more chapters with a bit of fluff, a bit spice ad a bit of (more) trouble? I have plans for both options, but it depends on what you like :D   
> Love you and thanks for reading my shit hahaha

Roger’s bed was really big, way more space than he needed, even if he had company; it was also incredibly comfortable since he made sure to get the coziest sheets and blankets, as well as about a dozen puffy pillows.

To top it all, he had recently bought silky pajamas in Japan, but he rarely wore them, given that he would always end up getting rid of his clothes during the night, he was always more comfortable wearing only his underwear, and sometimes not even that.

So considering how ridiculously planned the comfort of his bed is, its uncommon to find Rog as uneasy in bed as he was tonight. He just could not go to sleep, no matter how tired he undoubtedly was nor how inviting his bed could be.

“Alright what about… ‘Hey Bri, I…’ I what? I like you? No no no I can’t just throw it at him like that… What if I just kiss him? No that’s… That’s fucking harassment for sure… Ugh,” he threw his arms over his face. Rog had been trying to find the “best way” to tell Brian for a few hours now, he was lying in bed trying to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes a new possibility came to mind.

“But if he is mad at me now… Then I should probably approach him and let him speak right?” He had apparently found his “best way” (which unsurprisingly was to just have a normal conversation, and see where it went)

Roger tried his best to block out every related thought, or else he wouldn’t get any sleep at all, it was too hard, but he was actually exhausted, so he finally fell asleep around 3:00 am.

~~~

The indescribably annoying noise of his analogue alarm clock would often scare Roger, just a little. When he bought his alarm clock, Rog made sure to choose the one with the most annoying sound he could find, because he wanted to make sure there was no chance he’d oversleep; and when he brought it home, he decided to place it a little far from his bed and not on his nightstand, this way he would have to get up to stop the terrible sound. Many missed courses on college got him to develop these little waking up strategies.

8:00 am. He sucked at waking up, he was almost incapable of waking up before noon if he was to do so naturally; and he usually didn’t need to worry about it, since the band wouldn’t meet at the studio before 4:00 pm, given that they soon realized that being half asleep while crafting musical masterpieces wasn’t exactly working, so they had all agreed to take the mornings to themselves; unless of course they had a deadline, a concert coming up, or any kind of important situation that demanded some more of their time. After all, they weren’t amateurs anymore, they were rockstars, and music wasn’t a hobby anymore, it was a full time job.

Today they were recording a couple of songs, and a concert was coming up soon… So, yes, today was one of those days when they needed to dedicate some extra time to their music, so they decided to meet at the studio around 10:00 am.

For John, 10:00 am is late enough; he’s used to waking up at 6:00 am, working out a little, taking a shower, having breakfast with Veronica and chilling for a while, so, naturally, he’d be perfectly awake at 10:00, (but of course, this meant he’d usually be sleepy by 9:30 pm)

Brian too was okay with waking up early, he wasn’t particularly eager to it though, since he’d usually stay up late observing constellations as well as the moon and stars movements with his telescope. When he started making some real money, the first thing he bought for himself was a brand new professional telescope, and he didn’t waste any opportunity to use it. Still, he was way too used to waking up naturally around 8:00 am, as he had to back when he was in college, so he was often a little tired in the morning.

Freddie was not as much of an early bird as John and Brian but he would manage, he loved waking up late, it reminded him of the days at boarding school and how much he wished he didn’t have to wake up at 6:00 am every single day, and now that he was an adult and could choose his own schedule thanks to his dream job, he wasn’t gonna miss the chance to fullfil this innocent and too-usual childhood wish.

Roger was the biggest night owl out of the four of them. If he wasn’t with Freddie partying, watching a movie, or just talking, he was at home reading until around 2:00 am or even later, watching a movie on his own, or just enjoying the night at home in any way he could imagine; sometimes he’d just lay in bed thinking about life, about things that were bothering him, or about how much he loved his new life; he considered himself very lucky to be where he was, and he never forgot how hard he worked (and still did, possibly more than ever) to get every opportunity he encountered along the way.

~~~

When the alarm clock started its hellish performance, Rog was comfortably asleep, cuddled up and surrounded by warm blankets and pillows. His eyes were now suddenly wide open, and he growled as he made his way to the clock. He considered throwing it out the window and going back to bed, but when he thought of the consequences of not showing up he chose otherwise. Slowly running his fingers through his messy blonde hair he made his way over to the bathroom, once there he washed his face and looked at his reflection on the mirror right in the eye. “I gotta do this today,” he said loudly enough, as if he was having an actual conversation.

~~~

The rehearsal went pretty well, as expected, the boys didn’t really need to practice, as they soon noticed, but a few more hours of it never hurt anyone, right?

As a consequence, the recording went smoothly and relaxed, (some teasing and yelling took place, as usual, but nothing dramatic)

~~~

It’s worth mentioning that poor Brian still kept his act of being not interested in Roger whatsoever, only speaking to him if Roger asked a question directly to him or something like that. Brian realized it was relatively foolish to keep that up, but he was too invested in this plan of maybe getting his friendship with Roger to be back to normal eventually if he managed to convince him that he wasn’t and was never attracted to him.

But of course, this doesn’t mean he isn’t, really.

Brian’s crush was as big as ever, he’d stare at Roger when he wasn’t looking, and he’d love each time they spoke, treasuring the feeling of being close to him, even if he wasn’t about to allow himself to go any closer.

To be perfectly honest, this few weeks had not been easy for Bri; some days he thought it was no big deal and things would be normal soon, but some other days he figured “normal” still meant not being with Roger, not holding him in his arms, not kissing his plump pink lips… Nothing; and yes, of course Rog could eventually forget about this awkwardness, but could Brian ever forget he loved Roger? And, in the meantime, he wasn’t only denying himself the delicious company of the man he loved, but also, the company of his best friend; and because all of this Brian had become a bit depressed as he grieved for his impossible love.

Some nights, when it was really late and he couldn’t hear a single noise from the street, when the night was at it’s darkest, he’d allow himself to cry quietly in his bed, with his face hiding in his pillow and his back to the window, as if he was hiding his face from the moon. He’d cry softly, with low whimpers escaping his throat once in a while; his long fingers would swip the tears away from his flushed cheeks until he eventually fell asleep, once or twice dreaming about Roger and himself being together; and then the next day he’d wash his face, hide his pain, and go make music with Roger again.

~~~

At around 8:00 pm the boys were done with their work for the day.

Roger could hear Deaky and Freddie making plans for the four of them to go to dinner together, but he didn’t really listened, to be fair, he wasn’t interested, all he wanted was to get to Brian.

He spotted him in the back of the room, gathering his stuff and putting the Red Special carefully in it’s case, so he nervously and carefully made his way over there.

“Hello Bri,” he said in an adorable, playful voice

“Oh, hello,” Brian didn’t really look up from what he was doing

“How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know…” Brian shrugged

“Well, I don’t really,” Rog laughed nervously “You’ve been kind of avoiding me.” Roger managed to not have this sound like a complaint, but a playful (and obviously anxious) joke

“I have not,” Brian blushed since it was exactly what he had been doing “I’ve just been busy”

“So… There’s nothing wrong?” Roger tried to reassure himself “… Between us I mean”

This hit Brian out of nowhere. He wasn’t the only one suffering, he’d also ripped himself and his friendship from Roger’s life, and he was probably missing him too, this made him feel terribly guilty

“Oh Rog, of course not, how can you think that?” He knew exactly why he thought that

“Well… You’ve been distant, a-and I get it I mean if you’ve been busy as you said you were, but, uhm, there’s something I kind of really need to tell you, b-but, if this is not a good time I can wait 'till uhm…” He was cut off by Brian

“No, no, it is a good time Rog, what is it you want to talk about?” Brian was suddenly too kind and polite again, because of both his love and the guilt

Roger sighed loudly and sat down next to where Brian was gathering his stuff, and Brian sat next to him.

Roger started to breathe a little faster and his face turned pale

“Rog, are you alright?” Brian was genuinely concerned, this seemed like bad news

“Yeah yeah just… Nervous, and” Roger paused and looked for his cigarettes on his pocket, once he found them he lit a cigarette to calm himself down a little.

Brian’s anxiety was growing with every second that passed, was he in trouble?Leaving the band? In a legal issue? Knocked someone up? What?!

“Brian it is hard for me to do this but you have to remember that no matter what you say I’m always gonna be here, and I hope you don’t hate me for this but I really can’t live like this anymore, I need to get this off my chest and maybe, just maybe, get the chance to have what I’ve been wanting for ages now”

“Roger what? First of all I could never hate you, that’s ridiculous, what is this about?”

“I like you Bri” Roger spat out shyly “actually… I love you”

~~~

After a long pause Roger continued

“I’m sorry, I know maybe that’s not something you want to hear and…”

He was interrupted by Brian, but he wasn’t yelling, or freaking out, or lecturing him… He was kissing him.

Brian pressed his lips against Roger’s, and then, immediately shifted to a passionate and needy kiss. Roger was paralized at first, he wasn’t processing what was happening, he had never expected this, but when we could calm down a little he kissed Brian back in a no less passionate manner.

Brian was holding Roger’s cheek firmly, then moving his hand back to his neck.

Roger had his hand on Brian’s lower back and the other hand on his own leg.

Brian eventually backed off a little, just far enough to look at Roger’s gorgeous eyes.

“I love you too Rog, I have for a while now”

They started kissing again, softly, slowly, romantically, and they could not even think about anything in the world that mattered aside from each other, this was just so so so perfect for both of them, so unexpected, so blissful…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo that was Roger finally doing this! let me know which option would you like best pls!! (i described them in the sumary lol)


	5. Hello guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick question!!

Guyyyyys I was just wondering if anyone is still reading, if you are and would like this story to continue please leave a comment and I will continue, even if it's just one person, I'll continue just for you hahahaha   
Hugs.- C


	6. DAMN

I swear to CHRIST I'm working on the next chapter.  
I'm so fucking sorry I had a little temporary job as a substitute teacher and I swear I had no time to do anything ever! BUT now I'm free again and I'll make it up ♡ some fluff and fear of getting caught is coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience ily

**Author's Note:**

> That's basically it haha, let me know if you'd like me to post the next chapters


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